ABC Marriage http://www.abcmarriage.com Sat, 19 May 2012 07:55:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 Keeping Your Marriage Going Strong is Hard These Days http://www.abcmarriage.com/keeping-your-marriage-going-strong-is-hard-these-days/ http://www.abcmarriage.com/keeping-your-marriage-going-strong-is-hard-these-days/#comments Sat, 19 May 2012 07:52:28 +0000 Jim

In order to make your marriage last over the years, you will need things like commitment, trust, and love. It’s necessary to keep working on building your relationship as the years go by. No one wants to feel stressed while in their own home like they have to do once they go out into the real world. A long-lasting relationship will also meet our desire for acceptance and companionship. So how can a married couple create a marriage that will continue to grow no matter what life throws their way when so many couples end up getting divorced?

You can largely rely on common sense when it comes to figuring out strategies to make your marriage work. You simply need to care about the well-being of your partner. You start out your marriage with a lot of positive emotions guiding you. You will likely have little trouble overlooking all of the little things that your partner does that has the potential to annoy you based on all of the positive emotions you feel in the beginning of your relationship. They may mature and shift slightly to accommodate your aging, but they are still the underlying feelings that form the foundation of your marriage.

It will be much easier for you to make your relationship last over the years as long as you’re able to build a nice foundation. With the aid of these emotions, you will be able to treat your partner like you would want to be treated. Communication is very important for couples to have. Couples that are truly in love will have less of a problem communicating properly. Little annoying habits won’t cause as much concern if your relationship is truly based on love.

These days, you will have no problem getting a divorce. If you have all the money that you need, then you can get divorced from your spouse in no time. Staying committed to your partner over the years is much harder to do. People all have the tendency to try and find the easiest way to deal with any situation, and those who succeed in staying married have all been willing to make the substantial amount of extra effort it takes to do so.

Kristie Brown writes on a variety of topics from health to technology. Check out her websites on marriage-success-secrets.com.

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]]> http://www.abcmarriage.com/keeping-your-marriage-going-strong-is-hard-these-days/feed/ 0 a Look at Online Options for Free Marriage Advice http://www.abcmarriage.com/a-look-at-online-options-for-free-marriage-advice/ http://www.abcmarriage.com/a-look-at-online-options-for-free-marriage-advice/#comments Sat, 19 May 2012 05:56:19 +0000 Jim

Nowadays, it seems almost impossible to make a marriage last with all of the distractions of the modern world. Whenever couples experience problems in their relationship, they will need to work on solving them however they can. It is not always possible for couples to solve problems without help though. It is a good idea for couples who are unable to solve their own problems to get professional help.

You don’t necessarily have to pay for the marriage help that you receive though. This is especially the case if you go online to get it. If you want to receive free marriage advice online, then here are a few tips.

The Internet offers forums on a wide array of subjects. There will certainly be quite a few marriage forums for you to sign up with. You will likely benefit from joining a community with people who are in a situation very similar to yours.

Learning from the experience of others is always a good idea. However, professionals also exist on some of these forums and may be willing to dispense advice too. Not everyone will have the same experience when it comes to joining marriage forums though.

You should also know that some marriage professionals even run their on blog. If you apply some of their advice to your own marriage, it can be quite useful. Some of these blogs are even large enough that they offer a sizable community of their own for you to interact with.

You should be well aware of the amount of books that have been written about marriage. You should know that physical books aren’t your only options since e-books that you can find online can dispense great advice too. You will find these e-books have been written by all sorts of people. Not all of the e-books will be written by professionals. Don’t just take anyone’s advice because you read it from a book.

Another option if you are looking for free marriage advice online is to look into joining a few chat rooms. You may come across quite a few people who are very similar to you. The main disadvantage of using chat rooms is that the advice you receive for your marriage typically won’t be from a professional.

If you need free marriage help online, then these are some of your best options. You may still want to give some thought into signing up with a traditional marriage counselor though. You can even partake in online counseling if you don’t feel like leaving your home.

Kristie Brown writes on a variety of topics from health to technology. Check out her websites on saving your marriage and Marriage Success Secrets.

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]]> http://www.abcmarriage.com/a-look-at-online-options-for-free-marriage-advice/feed/ 0 Keeping Your Union Intact By Avoiding These Things http://www.abcmarriage.com/keeping-your-union-intact-by-avoiding-these-things/ http://www.abcmarriage.com/keeping-your-union-intact-by-avoiding-these-things/#comments Sat, 19 May 2012 04:07:08 +0000 Jim

As to whether your marriage stays healthy or decays depends largely on you and your spouse. Actually, many marriages fails for reasons that others will just remain strong through. Even being unfaithful, though for most it is a relationship killer, for some they are able to seek help and find a way to repair the damage done. It just depends on the perspective of the people that are involved in the relationship and whether both are willing to work on it.

As you can see, what would totally destroy one marriage is perfectly acceptable in another it just depends on the characteristics of the individuals involved and, in some cases, the timing of events.

Verbal or physical abuse is a real problem in many marriages No one should have to be subjected to any kind of physical, emotional or financial abuse. For every person that is in an abusive relationship, you are worth more than that. Get out and stop the cycle. Seek law enforcement and counseling. You cannot even abuse that is infrequent be okay with you. You can always return if and when they have sorted themselves out but no matter how much you have been promised that it will never happen again it always will unless you take a stand.

Jealousy can often exist is cases when one partner is still friendly with someone they used to have a relationship with. A different season of life can take time away from the couple and it can cause friction. People can get jealous over just about anything as long as they perceive it as a threat to their relationship. Obviously the source of the jealousy can’t always be eliminated, you can sometimes stop seeing previous partners but you can’t exactly throw the baby out the window or banish the stepchildren. Resolving jealousy comes back to communication, discussing and understanding the reasons for the jealousy and jointly devising an action plan to over come it.

Understand that the quotes about love which are all around us are to motivate us rather than be something of judgment we all seem to know are there to show us what love can be and not to criticize our relationship. Everybody wants a love that lasts like we read about in the quotes on love. Yet that kind of relationship is one that is hard won and not just given.

All too often the initial romance of any relationship often clouds people’s judgment when it comes to what both partners want out of life. All too often we do not communicate our real desires and wants because we want to pleas e the other person and make it easy for them to fall in love with us and be in a relationship with each other. But we must be honest from the beginning. It is unfair to have someone have to bow to our wishes simply because we were not willing to be up front and honest in the beginning. If you can be okay with the way your mate is conducting their life then you are on your way to a peaceful marriage.

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]]> http://www.abcmarriage.com/keeping-your-union-intact-by-avoiding-these-things/feed/ 0 Need Help Saving Your Marriage? Then Turn to Family Marriage Counseling http://www.abcmarriage.com/need-help-saving-your-marriage-then-turn-to-family-marriage-counseling-2/ http://www.abcmarriage.com/need-help-saving-your-marriage-then-turn-to-family-marriage-counseling-2/#comments Sat, 19 May 2012 02:43:03 +0000 Jim

There is no marriage or relationship out there that is always smooth sailing. There will always be problems or some type of trouble to work through at some point. Couples will need to put in a lot of effort towards working through their problems properly. In most cases, couples won’t make an attempt at counseling until their troubles have advanced very far.

It can end up being a huge mistake to put off going to counseling until it’s too late. The sooner you talk to a marriage counselor, the sooner you could have your marriage back on the right track. Through marriage therapy counseling, couples will learn to minimize conflict.

No matter how much you love your partner, it won’t be possible to avoid all conflict. There are a variety of reasons that can cause a couple to have conflicts in a marriage. To err is human. You could make the mistake of saying something at the wrong time and make your spouse upset. It’s usually easy to resolve most of these conflicts though. You may need to use the help of a professional to get through some types of problems though. When this happens, I highly recommend you seek help from a marriage and family counseling specialist.

These days, more and more couples are deciding to give up on their marriage instead of trying to work through their problems. They would prefer to give up rather than put in the work necessary to make the marriage successful when things get bad. Without a professional helping you and your partner through your problems, they may indeed be too much for you to handle. Therefore, you should strongly consider using the services offered by a family marriage counseling expert to save your marriage.

Don’t make the mistake of setting your expectations too high before going to a counselor. It can take quite a while to see a breakthrough in your marriage. Your troubles developed over time. Both partners will need to agree to work together in order to see results too. The marriage counselor isn’t the one that will be tasked with making decisions to save your marriage. A counselor is there to only guide couples into making the right decision that is best for their marriage.

Almost all marriage therapist will advice couples to put their past behind. It’s vital that you make an attempt to forgive your spouse. Also, you’ll both need to work on being able to trust the other person. You can expect the future to be much happier for the both of you if you make the decision to start over with a clean slate.

Kristie Brown writes on a variety of topics from health to technology. Check out her websites on marriage and stop divorce proceedings.

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]]> http://www.abcmarriage.com/need-help-saving-your-marriage-then-turn-to-family-marriage-counseling-2/feed/ 0 Is Your Marriage Really over Once the Love Disappears? http://www.abcmarriage.com/is-your-marriage-really-over-once-the-love-disappears/ http://www.abcmarriage.com/is-your-marriage-really-over-once-the-love-disappears/#comments Sat, 19 May 2012 02:01:08 +0000 Jim

Married couples vow to stay together till death do them part, but many go back on that promise and get divorced. In the beginning, couples start out loving each other dearly, but over time, those feelings can turn into hostility. If someone chooses to get a divorce within five years of getting married, then chances are they were more in lust than love. People who are truly in love with each other will stick it out even when things get really bad. If you’re caught in one of these loveless marriages, what are your choices?

Living with someone who you aren’t connected with anymore isn’t exactly fun. Even if you have financial obligations and children together, the bond just isn’t there any longer. You should know that it’s possible to rekindle your romance even if all hope seems lost. It’s possible, but it will take a lot of effort on your part. You need to reestablish lines of communication with each other in order to express your feelings. Try to figure out when you first realized that you no longer loved your spouse. You feel the way you do for a reason, and you need to find out why. You and your partner will need to discuss your true feelings honestly and openly. Only one partner isn’t entirely to blame.

If you feel that it’s too much trouble to fix the issues in your marriage, you may resign yourself to living with the way things are. It may seem silly to do this, but there are actually a few reasons why some people would prefer to do so. Some couples decide to stay together just for their children’s sake, but that’s not always a good idea. If you stay together just for the sake of your children, it won’t make things any better especially since they can clearly see something is wrong. Many people aren’t willing to accept the fact that their marriage has been a failure. Others decide to stay because living on their own may not be financially possible.

Some couples have benefited by staying together. If you do choose to stay together, then make sure that you invest plenty of energy into communicating with your partner properly. It’s best that you don’t let your friends’ marriages determine how happy you are in yours. Everyone is different, so it stands to reason that no two marriages will be alike.

Kristie Brown writes on a variety of topics from health to technology. Check out her websites on marriage and stopping a divorce.

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]]> http://www.abcmarriage.com/is-your-marriage-really-over-once-the-love-disappears/feed/ 0 Things That Can Hurt A Relationship http://www.abcmarriage.com/things-that-can-hurt-a-relationship/ http://www.abcmarriage.com/things-that-can-hurt-a-relationship/#comments Fri, 18 May 2012 23:56:04 +0000 Jim

I was being attentive to the radio the other day when a girl stated that whether her marriage went ahead or not depended on how accurately her fiancé could answer questions about her. I don’t know about you but if I had expected my partner to know all my likes and dislikes before we got married our relationship would have been dead in the water. As it is we wouldn’t have been without the other person for the past 20 years.

What I find interesting is that you can have the same circumstance and have two totally different results depending on the relationship that is in question. It really depends on the people involved.

The one thing that destroys more marriages is those that have an affair. Many people struggle to understand and come to terms with such a betrayal but more importantly, struggle to regain the trust. And yet not communicating is the silent killer of a lot of relationships. Lack of good communication has been a way in which so many couples have found their marriages crumbling because both become bitter in the marriage. The art of truly listening to each other and their needs is something that has been taught to very little by their parents and so couples struggle to know how to live together.

Another thing that can greatly undermine the marriage is jealousy in one or both people. Or sometimes when a new baby comes along and all ‘couple’ time is eliminated. Or step parents can be jealous of their partners relationship with their children. It is only when the couple can talk openly with each other that they will begin to understand the dysfunction that exists within their relationship. So they should be willing to discuss their jealousy. Resolving jealousy comes back to communication, discussing and understanding the reasons for the jealousy and jointly devising an action plan to over come it.

It’s good to remember that the love quotes that any of us all browse ought to be an inspiration and not a damnation. Certainly the simple truth is that we all want a love like the love in the love quotes. However, that type of love is one that is cultivated and never only stumbled upon.

When we fall in love with each other that initial passion can make us feel like anything is possible. But then real life soon sets in. A simple example is children, how many women get married knowing that they don’t want children or don’t want children any time soon but don’t communicate this to their partner. But we must be honest from the beginning. It is unfair to have someone have to bow to our wishes simply because we were not willing to be up front and honest in the beginning. Unless your dreams of a perfect marriage are on the same playing field then it’s often a ticket to disaster.

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]]> http://www.abcmarriage.com/things-that-can-hurt-a-relationship/feed/ 0 Situations To Avoid For The Health Of Your Marriage http://www.abcmarriage.com/situations-to-avoid-for-the-health-of-your-marriage/ http://www.abcmarriage.com/situations-to-avoid-for-the-health-of-your-marriage/#comments Fri, 18 May 2012 22:01:09 +0000 Jim

An interesting thing happened the other day. I was watching a program and a woman stated that she was waffling on her upcoming marriage because her man could not answer a few questions about her likes. I watched with a fair amount of horror because I think she missed the very point of marriage. We get married because we love someone and we want to spend the rest of our lives getting to know them. And we get to spend all that time grasping the ins and outs of that person.

What I find interesting is that you can have the same circumstance and have two totally different results depending on the relationship that is in question. It really depends on the people involved.

Abuse is something, which is tolerated far too often. It is a basic human right to be treated with dignity and respect. Anyone that does not give you that is in need of real counseling. Abuse should not be tolerated in any form. A person has other avenues that to hit or demean you. Get out if this is happening. Do no put up with even abuse that happens sometimes. Please realize that if you still love this person, the relationship does not have to end, the abuse does. So if you are willing to work on it, seek counseling and live separately until the person learns different ways of dealing with anger and frustrations.

Yet something else that can cause great harm to a relationship is the green monster of jealousy in a partner. A different season of life can take time away from the couple and it can cause friction. Or step parents can be jealous of their partners relationship with their children. So people must learn to talk about their jealousies and truly communicate about what is causing their insecurities so that they can begin to build a relationship that is secure for both people. Resolving jealousy comes back to communication, discussing and understanding the reasons for the jealousy and jointly devising an action plan to over come it.

a good thing to know the love quotes which are all over are to really encourage us and not be something of judgment we all seem to know will there be to show us what love can be and not to criticize our relationship. Certainly it is a fact that we all want a love like the love in the love quote. However, that type of love is one that is cultivated instead of only stumbled upon.

I have put this short list together not to say that these are the only things that can cause a relationship to fall apart but they are some of the reasons why a marriage can go through a lot of difficulty. Couples need to be totally upfront and honest with each other both before and after marriage to ensure that the dreams and desires of both parties are met and fulfilled. And now that you are married each person must learn how to really talk to the other so that each of your needs are being met. Learning to talk things out peacefully is the best way to bring your marriage back from the brink.

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]]> http://www.abcmarriage.com/situations-to-avoid-for-the-health-of-your-marriage/feed/ 0 Ways In Which A Marriage Can Be Damaged http://www.abcmarriage.com/ways-in-which-a-marriage-can-be-damaged/ http://www.abcmarriage.com/ways-in-which-a-marriage-can-be-damaged/#comments Fri, 18 May 2012 18:40:03 +0000 Jim

Whether a relationship lives or dies largely depends on the individuals involved. What is seen to be an insurmountable relationship killer by a person will just be a minor challenge to another. Although there are some situations that most people would look at and say that their marriage is through, some might be able to look at it and see a way through.

Marriages have even broken up over one of the partners forgetting a birthday or an anniversary. I must confess that I don’t really want to be reminded of how quickly the years are passing me by and I’m equally prone to over looking special dates as my partner. I think most people would be willing to forgive the oversight if the relationship was strong and they treated each other well.

The one thing that destroys more marriages is those that have an affair. Affairs are not something that most people can move on from because it tears at the core of the marriage that is irreparable. And yet not communicating is the silent killer of a lot of relationships. Countless relationships have simply been tossed aside because they have not found a way to live in peace and harmony with each other. For most marriages, if they simply learned how to love each other by listening to each other they would have a long happy life with each other.

Trust is so important in any relationship. If trust doesn’t exist it is very difficult to keep a relationship alive. Infidelity, gambling, drinking, drugs and financial spending are all strong and compelling reasons for not trusting your partner (among many others). I have found that for the marriages in which the people are willing to reconstruct the foundation of trust within their marriage their marriage can be restored. And yet this only happens as we are able to release the past and let it go.

Keep in mind that the love quotes we all read through should be a motivation but not a judgment. Certainly the fact remains that we all want a love like the love in the quotes on love. But that love is one that is certainly acquired and not just handed to us.

When we fall in love with each other that initial passion can make us feel like anything is possible. But then real life soon sets in. A simple example is children, how many women get married knowing that they don’t want children or don’t want children any time soon but don’t communicate this to their partner. It is so important to be totally upfront. If we are not upfront with what we want out of life we can pair up with someone that wants totally different things and cause a lot of friction. If you can be okay with the way your mate is conducting their life then you are on your way to a peaceful marriage.

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]]> http://www.abcmarriage.com/ways-in-which-a-marriage-can-be-damaged/feed/ 0 Tips for Getting Back Your Marriage http://www.abcmarriage.com/tips-for-getting-back-your-marriage-3/ http://www.abcmarriage.com/tips-for-getting-back-your-marriage-3/#comments Fri, 18 May 2012 17:00:03 +0000 Jim

Fifty percent of all the marriages that start with pledges of “til death do us part” end in divorce. In the beginning, couples start out loving each other dearly, but over time, those feelings can turn into hostility. If someone chooses to get a divorce within five years of getting married, then chances are they were more in lust than love. If you were truly in love, you would be able to make it through both good times and bad. So, what are you supposed to do if you find yourself in a loveless marriage?

It’s hard to continue to live with a person that you no longer feel connected to. You may only be sticking around because of children or other financial obligations. You may wonder if such a failed romance can be rekindled, and the answer is “yes”! You will need to be willing to put in a lot of work to get it done though. You need to reestablish lines of communication with each other in order to express your feelings. At some point, your feelings towards your spouse left, so you need to determine exactly when that happened. What caused you to feel this way? You and your partner will need to discuss your true feelings honestly and openly. Don’t try to place all of the blame on your partner either.

Maybe you’d prefer to leave things the way they are and just live with the situation. Many might question why anyone would want to take this route, but the reasons abound. Some couples decide to stay together just for their children’s sake, but that’s not always a good idea. If you stay together just for the sake of your children, it won’t make things any better especially since they can clearly see something is wrong. A few more reasons why people choose to stay together is because it can be quite difficult living on their own for financial reasons or they simply don’t want their marriage to become a statistic.

Staying together isn’t always bad, as a few couples have done it. Communication is still key as you and your spouse attempt to work out an arrangement that will satisfy each partner. Don’t try to compare your marriage to one of your friend’s or family member’s marriages. Everyone is different, so it stands to reason that no two marriages will be alike.

Kristie Brown writes on a variety of topics from health to technology. Check out her websites on marriage and marriage success secrets.

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]]> http://www.abcmarriage.com/tips-for-getting-back-your-marriage-3/feed/ 0 Solutions for Fixing Your Broken Marriage http://www.abcmarriage.com/solutions-for-fixing-your-broken-marriage-3/ http://www.abcmarriage.com/solutions-for-fixing-your-broken-marriage-3/#comments Fri, 18 May 2012 16:44:07 +0000 Jim

You may notice a lot of couples that are seemingly happy in their relationship despite the fact that they are miserable with each other behind closed doors. People who are educated and hold great jobs may seem to be extremely happy in their everyday lives. Every day, couples like these file for divorce, because their lives together have been undermined by busy schedules, the demands of childcare, and little disagreements that have escalated from minor to full-blown verbal battles over the years of their relationship. Couples may even still love each other despite the fact that they are getting divorced. If they only knew the right techniques, their marriages could be saved, and they would be much happier.

Whenever problems start building up in your relationship, you may think that there is no way for you to get around them. You may even find that this is a problem in your own situation. Over time, you and your spouse may simply start growing apart. It’s possible for you to have a happy marriage once again if you just learn a few things.

You want to avoid letting communication problems plague your marriage, so it’s important that couples always take the time to really talk to each other. Outside obligations crowd their way in, the children are always around to interrupt or keep them from discussing their lives with each other, and they begin to feel a separation between them that just wasn’t there before. Therefore, no matter how busy both of you are, you need to keep the lines of communication open. If you have children, then consider hiring a babysitter once a week so that you and your partner can go out. Having a date night once a week should be plenty of time for you to really talk to each other. Communicating with your spouse will enable you to find out exactly what’s going on in their lives.

Well-meaning relatives and friends can provide both support and stumbling blocks for the two of you. You need to enjoy the support they offer without letting them influence you in your life’s choices. It’s easy for these people to offer their opinions which really shouldn’t make a difference in what you decide to do. It’s best that you avoid letting outsiders exert too much control when it comes to your marriage.

Kristie Brown writes on a variety of topics from health to technology. Check out her websites on Marriage Success Secrets.

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