At the beginning of a marriage your spouse can do no wrong. They practically walk on water and everything is perfect. The day to day issues slowly begin to creep in and it is easy to become annoyed at the little things that your spouse does. Over time these slight annoyances can mount and actually cause problems in your marriage.

You have worked hard at your marriage, to keep you and your spouse happy and well adjusted. You will not want to ruin all that you have because of an annoyance, that at one time did not bother you at all. If you follow the tips provided below, you will be able to calming manage these annoyances before they turn into a tsunami.

1. Focus On The Positive- Why do we all to often focus only on the negative things in life? If I only had more money, if only my home was bigger, why did my car have to brake down. These are common questions people ask themselves, instead of saying at: at least I have money in the bank, there are many without homes and I should be happy I have a roof over my head, the car may have broken down but once it is fixed I still have it, not everyone can say that. The same should also be applied to your marriage. No one is perfect, so we need to stop expecting our spouse to be. Instead of getting annoyed that they came home from work late, be happy they have a job and work hard to provide for you. Don’t yell when they spend money on something that you think is silly, instead be thankful that you had the money for the purchase and it has made your spouse happy. Instead of thinking and focusing on how your spouse has annoyed you think of all the ways your life has been better because they are a part of it.

2. Take A Breather- Sometimes it is difficult to think positively while you are heated mad. Instead of speaking right away, which will only come out as a nagging yell, take a breath. Remove yourself for the situation if you have to and take a few deep breaths. You will be surprised at how this will help you bring things into perspective.

3. Do Not Yell, SPEAK- If you find that you can not overlook something then you should sit and talk with your spouse. Do not talk of all the little petty issues just talk about what is causing you stress. Talking does not by any means refer screaming and yelling. You need to calmly state what the annoyance is and try to come up with a solution to the problem that both of you can live with.

4. Create Moments To Spend Together- Take some time in the day, or at least once a week, to spend solely with your spouse. You can leave the kids with a sitter and go out to dinner, plan a romantic getaway together and spend time looking at all the places you can visit and what you will do. Don’t just plan the getaway make sure that you actually go on the getaway. Time for the two of you does not always have to cost money though. It can be staying at home and watching a movie while you snuggle (instead of sitting on opposite ends of the couch), play a board game, or whatever activity that you both enjoy to do. Many couples even choose a show that they both like and once a week sit down to watch it together. This is a great way to schedule partner time for you and your spouse.

5. Turn The Annoyance Into A Joke- Sometimes it is better to laugh then get mad. If you can find a way to make the annoyance humorous, without making fun of your spouse, you will find the annoyance will go away and turn into a joke. Play a game of hide and seek with shoes that are always being left around the house, or freeze their dirty clothes if they always leave them on the floor. Nothing should be done with anger, instead it should be completed with a loving heart. Be careful not to cross a line and do something that will anger or hurt your spouse. My husband has a bad habit of leaving his sleep machine tube out and it brakes all the time because the kids like to play with it. When I make the beds in the morning and notice that he forgot to put it away I will then hide it on him. Each night before bed we would get a good laugh at the different places that I found to hide is tube. It has now gotten to the point that I am saddened when I don’t see it because I know that we will not be playing our game of hide and seek that night. It was the perfect way to turn an annoying (and costly) situation into something fun and bonding.

Remember, living with the same person day in and day out can become very stressful. Follow these steps and you will find that although some of the annoyances may remain, they will no longer seem as large as they once did.

If you are having marriage problems and believe that you will need couples therapy in order to get you on the right track again, there is another method that is just as effective, will cost you less and can be done done in the privacy of your home. To learn about about the program, today, go to www.lightyourfire.com.